Oh my goodness, Jerk From Craigslist, next time you try to sell something to someone, maybe you shouldn't be such a damn prick about it, and then abruptly send me a shitty e-mail telling me you're selling it to someone else. Get over yourself.
And seriously, I feel safer with a gun in the house. Until all the Anti-gun people can figure out exactly how they're going to take the guns away from all the criminals as well as the law abiding citizens so that we aren't left unarmed in a sea of violent idiots, then they can quit trying to guilt trip me for having one.
Oh, pup, quit stepping in your own poo. For it is indeed disgusting. And the people who see me outside wiping your paws on the grass are giving me weird looks.
Child of mine! WHY must you make such noises, as though you are the creepy girl from The Ring, when I am watching horror movies in the dark? Please don't.
Hey cable company! I love Mythbusters! I love Scrubs! I love Mash! Please give me a channel where I can watch these shows all day.
Must I now turn to Huckabee as an alternative to McCain? It seems so.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.