So, I've been slacking off from posting.
I'm trying. Wee One just takes much more time these days, as she's not a blob that just sleeps and eats anymore. I swear she learns new things every day just to keep me entertained. Today we had a hissing battle, since she's learned how to...um, hiss.
It went like this.
Wee One: Ssssssssssssssssssss.
Me: *hysterical laughter* Ssss-ssss-sssss.
Yes, that is how my days go. Pity me.
I have some very strange fears. As in, WHY the heck would a grown woman be afraid of that, you freak phobias. I firmly believe that they can be blamed upon watching every horror movie ever made at far too young an age. I've seen way too much weird stuff, evidently. You may think that I am an utter lunatic after this post, in fact. So, without further ado:
1. Sometimes, when I'm swimming in a pool by myself, I become suddenly sure that a little door is going to open in the deep end and let out a shark.
I'm not even kidding.
Never mind the fact that there are no chlorine water species of sharks. Never mind where the shark would come from. This has been known to make me panic and swim like a goon for the shallow end, leap out of the pool, and then nonchalantly try to pretend that nothing happened. Kind of like when your cat runs face first into a wall.
If you think that is funny, you should see me at the beach.
2. Sometimes, when I am alone in the house and walking down the hall, I get paranoid that SOMETHING is coming up behind me, really fast. This may be because of my two ghost experiences (A Ha! More madness! I shall post about my ghostly encounters at a later date.) or because I'm just damn crazy.
Whatever causes it, I tend to suddenly take off running for my room, slam the door behind me, and take a flying leap onto my bed, all while laughing fit to bust.
Did I mention I starting laughing like a madwoman when I get scared?
3. I cannot have a mirror in my bedroom. It creeps me out in a big bad way. I am sure that I will sleepily turn over one night, open my eyes, and then see something or someone standing behind me in the damn thing.
Whereupon I will turn over screaming.
Whereupon there will be nothing there, and my craziness will be certified.
Or worse, something WILL be there, and my wee little brain will explode..
Either way, no mirrors in the bedroom for me.
4. I hate looking out of windows at night. I just know one night I will crack the blinds and a crazy axe murderer will be standing RIGHT THERE, and I will have a heart attack.
One would imagine it would be better to KNOW about the axe murderer, but not I. I think ignorance is bliss, as long as said murderer doesn't come bursting through the window.
5. Sometimes, I still get scared of the dark.
Does this really surprise any of you, at this point? Didn't think so.
Someone medicate me, please.