Cloverfield Review, Since I Dreamed About It *Spoilers!*

If you haven't seen this yet, stop now. Spoilers are ahead.


OK, I just have to put my two cents in about this movie.

First of all, let me start out by saying that I liked it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it. I think I may have to watch it again, actually.

That said, I did have a couple of issues. First of all, for a creature that’s supposed to have come from the depths of the ocean, it didn’t look very aquatic to me.

I was also kinda disappointed with the “little parasite babies that make you die if they bite you” thing. I feel like that’s been done and was unnecessary. They didn’t look very aquatic either, for that matter.

Also, WTF was with the mysterious shifts in size the thing seemed to go through? It seemed way bigger when it was destroying the city than it did when it chomped poor Hud.

Speaking of when it ate Hud, how the fuck does a 5 story tall monster sneak the fuck up on you?? I mean, Jesus, you’re telling me you wouldn’t see the fucker looming there when he went back to go get the camera? He’s all, Oops, gotta get the cam *friends scream* *looks up* BAM. Ninja monster is standing there. It was all Jurassic Parking its ass all over the city but can be quiet as a fuckin’ mouse suddenly? Whatever. Although, I must admit it was quite the oh shit moment. The monster looked downright evil as hell, despite the inflatable ballsacks on the side of its head, and I was actually squirming in my seat, thinking, “OH fuck, run you bastard, oh god, RUN!”

Of course he didn’t.

They never do.

Another cliche, to me, was when they are watching from the chopper as the army shoots the hell out of it, and then of course they have to go MAKE SURE ITS DEAD, which as everyone knows is the #1 no-no of any monster movie. Just fuckin’ leave, fly away, do you really need to see if it's still twitching? Come on, people. Also, what the hell was with his Amazing Leap of Doom that brought down the chopper? Or did he smack it with his tail?

So far as the camera, it didn’t bother me, though I did find myself bobbling my head around in a vain attempt to see shit, and craning my neck to try to look around corners. I also found myself gesturing wildly with my hands in an attempt to make Hud turn the damn camera around, what was that that just went behind the BUILDING, I want to SEE. But I just take that as the movie doing a damn good job of drawing me into the story.

I also don’t mind not knowing the monster’s whole history, it makes it way more interesting to not know every last detail, although the morbidly curious part of me would like to know more. And I do hope for a sequel. But I’m lame that way.

So far as the look of the thing…pretty good, can’t complain, but it also looked a bit familiar. I guess there’s only so many ways you can do a monster. Still, I was just the teensiest bit disappointed.

I think the whole thing at the end where they say “It’s still alive” is quite the spine tingler. I mean, a monster that can survive a nuke? Good lord. Scary shit. I think there must be some sort of paranormal twist to this thing, what with all the bullets, bombs and whatnot it took, and it’s still wrecking shit? Nice.

Overall, I liked it.

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