Creeped Out

OK, so my daughter? Is demented. I was watching a Chucky movie the other night and she was laughing her little butt off when Chucky stabbed this dude...and then, just now, I was watching an old episode of Angel (yes, I'm a closet Buffy and Angel fan) and it was some episode where the tv is sucking the soul out of some kid...and guess who starts laughing again.

Seriously, she's not allowed to watch TV anymore.

Ever.

I'm scared.

Note To Self

When you are drunk and your even drunker friend offers to teach you how to do a kick flip on a skateboard, for the love of all that is holy DO NOT TAKE THEM UP ON IT.

Ow.


Note: Haven't been posting much lately due to the utter lack of things to post about...hopefully my life gets more interesting soon and this damn writer's block goes away.

In Your Face, Buddy

So? The date?

SO awesome.

My friend whisked Wee One away for an overnight stay at her house (with much wiggling of eyebrows and suggestive comments) and off we went.

We stopped at a coffee shop and had coffee, where we talked long enough to have to buy refills, before going off to the movies.

We kept it simple, I think, because both of us were kinda wondering if we'd actually click hanging out as opposed to chatting via the phone or IM.

Oh, the butterflies. I had TOTALLY forgotten how awesome the whole first date, hand holding experience was. We ended up sitting in the parking lot and talking for about 4 hours when he brought me back to my house (will this guy and I never run out of things to talk about? Seriously?) because I'm totally a chicken, and I was too scared to bring him inside, because I am so not putting out on the first date. I'm too gun shy for that.

Although you guys deserve honesty and I'd be a big fat liar if I said I wasn't tempted because, HELLO, it has been like a freaking year, ohmygod, come on.

Ok. Slut moment over.

There was much smooching at the end, though.

And, as an added bonus...

Word has gotten back to Ex, that, OMIGOD, I went on a date. Word is that he is green, oh so green. Evidently he wasn't expecting me to, like, ever date anyone again. I think it will be interesting to hear what he has to say next time I see him.

Is it wrong that I'm just a little bit gleeful that just maybe he's regretting his manwhore ways now that he sees that I'm actually, you know, OVER him?

And the best part? I really don't care. I feel a sort of vindictive satisfaction, yes, but honestly his feelings on the matter interest me in an offhand kinda way, sort of a "Oh, gee, wonder if I've seen this episode of Will and Grace before?" kinda way.

Ahhh...life is good.

Interesting Development

So, this morning I am a wee bit giddy. Last night, I was mucking about on Instant Messenger, chit chatting to a couple of my chicky friends.

A Happy Valentine's Day message pops up on my screen from an guy I kinda know that ex and I had hung out with a few times, not one on one but in a group setting. I kinda thought he was cute, and interesting to talk to, but being attached at the time didn't really think much more about him than that. I've actually known him since high school, but you know how you know some people for what seems like forever but yet you've never really had a whole conversation with them? That's this guy.

Well, we starting talking.

And talking.

And talking.

Finally we got tired of typing and he called me. And we talked. And talked. And talked. About everything. Music, movies, the state of the world in general, politics, silly random shit.

We clicked. You know how sometimes you meet someone and you start talking and you just freaking click? You find yourself thinking, "Geez, finally someone I can talk to that can actually keep up with me! And doesn't find all this shit boring! And can actually debate about it in an intelligent fashion!"

Guys, he's so smart. Not in a geeky computer nerd way, not in an egotistical my-vocabulary-is-bigger-than-yours way. Just smart.

And? I have been asked on a date.

Squee!

I suppose I should apologize to The Powers That Be for bitching about Valentine's Day. Or maybe this is their idea of irony.

But, anyway, I am off to dance around my apartment, because I've got the butterflies again, and, you guys, I haven't had the butterflies in freaking FOREVER.



Side Note: Is anyone else's Blogger spellcheck not working? Mine has quit.

Valentine's Day...Oh Joy.

So, I'm alone today.

Well, not alone. Wee one is here. And the critters. But in a romantic sense, I am alone.

*sigh*

It was one year ago today that Ex started cheating on me. Did I ever mention that at my old blog?

Yea.

What a prize he was.

Holidays suck. Especially hearts and flowers everyone is so in love holidays.

Excuse me, I have to go gorge myself with chocolate that I HAD TO BUY MYSELF.

Uhg.

Oh, The Randomness

Oh my goodness, Jerk From Craigslist, next time you try to sell something to someone, maybe you shouldn't be such a damn prick about it, and then abruptly send me a shitty e-mail telling me you're selling it to someone else. Get over yourself.

And seriously, I feel safer with a gun in the house. Until all the Anti-gun people can figure out exactly how they're going to take the guns away from all the criminals as well as the law abiding citizens so that we aren't left unarmed in a sea of violent idiots, then they can quit trying to guilt trip me for having one.

Oh, pup, quit stepping in your own poo. For it is indeed disgusting. And the people who see me outside wiping your paws on the grass are giving me weird looks.

Child of mine! WHY must you make such noises, as though you are the creepy girl from The Ring, when I am watching horror movies in the dark? Please don't.

Hey cable company! I love Mythbusters! I love Scrubs! I love Mash! Please give me a channel where I can watch these shows all day.

Must I now turn to Huckabee as an alternative to McCain? It seems so.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

This Isn't A Pet Blog, I Swear

But it seems that way this week.

Because, today, I think the powers that be were laughing behind my back as they said to each other, "HAHAHA, why does this crazy woman have so many pets? We'll show her!"

All I wanted to do was vacuum the living room, I swear.

See, my German Shepherd is a bit of a chicken. The guy that had her before me used to beat her with a belt buckle (lousy bastard) and so now, she's super submissive. As in, she will pee if you raise your voice at her, or if she thinks she's in trouble. It's the doggy way of saying, "You're the boss! Please don't hurt me!" Which yea, I'm sorry she's had a traumatic past and all, but an 80 pound dog wee-weeing when you look at her cross eyed gets tiresome after a while.

Anyway.

She's also scared of the vacuum, and while the cats and the little pup are small enough to hide under chairs and tables and whatnot, her fat ass doesn't have anywhere to scamper to. I usually try to let her outside before I get to her side of the room, but I was in a rush this morning, and decided just this once would be fine.

Oh no.

I get within about 5 feet of her and she tries to rocket past me to go who knows where, and I just know she's going to leap onto my laptop that's sitting open on the couch (O brain? Where art thou today?) so I grab her collar. Of course she thinks the vacuum is trying to eat her, so she spins around, knocks the vacuum over, whereupon the canister comes flying off, whereupon the fuckin' thing starts shrieking like all the demons of hell, whereupon she pees ALL OVER MY FOOT.

80 pound dogs pee A LOT.

Today is not looking good.

Haiku Friday Pt. 2

Tiny little pup
You are smarter than I thought
Always poop outside


So far no chewing
Except on the other dog
She is sick of you


Don't go over there
Do you not hear me calling
Now I have to run


No you still can't go
Quit trying to go 'round me
I block you with foot


Tiny little pup
I think I found your one flaw
Stubborn little shit

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky at the above link with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

So...What Country Should I Move To?

Well, Americans have spoken.

Evidently a great many of Ron Paul's supporters are great at clicking a mouse, leaving rude comments on news sites, and text messaging their asses off, but when it comes down to actually tearing themselves away from their computers and go out to vote...not so much.

Evidently it's all well and good to howl and scream about liberty and freedom and the constitution on some message board, but when he actually needs you to stand up and be counted...well folks, you let him down.

Big time.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the fact of the matter is that Ron's pretty much finished. He's still running a distant fourth. He didn't do well on Super Tuesday. Face the facts, guys-he's not gonna be president.

So.

It looks as though I need to start looking into a new place to win, because, seriously? McCain? No. This guy is basically Bush part 2. Romney? Basically, when it boils down to it, he's the same as McCain. 90% of their policies are the same. I really don't know what these guys find to bicker so much about.

Whatever.

And don't get me started on Obama or Hillary. I want a president with some freakin' political experience, thanks, and one with a decent game plan that doesn't consist of just yelling about how he will change everything and then not having any specifics to give about said mysterious change. And I refuse to vote for someone whom I do not agree with on anything, purely on the basis of her having a vagina. Sorry, feminists.

Plus I'm just way too conservative to vote democrat.

I'm upset. This was the first time in my life that I've ever felt excited, really giddy and excited, about a presidential candidate. I really felt like Paul could bring this country out of its slump and get us going uphill again.

But I guess Americans are too stuck in their ways. Change? Oh, change is scary. We don't want that. We want someone that will SAY he's going to change stuff, but not actually change anything, cuz yea, we'd rather just sit here while our country collapses around our ears then actually have to deal with things being a little different. Freedom? Taking care of ourselves? Who needs that? Let's just let the government tell us what to do and wipe our asses and hey, if they want to read our e-mails and restrict our freedoms in the process, who cares?

So, what countries are nice? I like Ireland. Or maybe Scotland. Canada, maybe? Catwoman, your blog title is so totally me right now, cuz I'm totally thinking Canadian Thoughts In Texas.

I like Australia, but good grief, too many deadly things live there.

Sigh.

I'm so sad.

Thriller Lizards

Because, you know, the best reason to watch the Superbowl is the commercials...and I frickin' love this one.

What Have I Done?

Oh lord, people, what did I do?


The housetraining, the chewing....



But just look at those eyes...and she was an orphan...can I use the excuse of it being maternal instinct?

Yea, that sounds good to me.

It had nothing to do with the floppy ears, the wee little paws, the teensy nose...

Nope, not at all.

Haiku Friday!

watching Lost again
don't know what is going on
might have a stroke now

dance of rage on couch
what could be wrong with mama
Lost is now over.

what is smoke monster
who is ghost man in cabin
so many questions

while I sleep in peace
cats destroy the house with glee
why bounce off my head?

dog sits over there
airborne fur floats gently by
how is dog not bald?

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky at the above link with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). We will delete your link if it doesn’t go to a haiku. If you need help with this, contact Christina.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

The CNN Republican Debate, i.e. Let's Not Let Ron Paul Get A Word In

So, did anyone else watch this travesty?

Have I mentioned yet that I'm a Ron Paul supporter? Well, I am. I think he's the only candidate who actually seems honest and doesn't seem to be in anyone's pocket, and-guess what? He thinks we should FOLLOW THE CONSTITUTION. What a wacky idea for AMERICANS. I could go on about why I love Dr. Paul, but I won't. That's not the topic here.

The topic is the sham of a debate that CNN held tonight. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are there not Republican candidates? Then why did they do their damndest to make it seem like only Romney and McCain are running?

Anderson Cooper not only blatantly ignored Ron (and Huckabee, for that matter) for most of the debate, he even went so far as to interrupt him and rudely cut him off. In a "debate" where Romney and McCain blathered inanely and took schoolgirl bickering to a whole new level for minutes on end, he actually had the audacity to cut Ron off after he spoke for 9 FUCKING SECONDS.

I'm not even joking.

At one point he actually stumbled all over himself trying to shut Ron up, babbling and stuttering about how "We're going to have -- I promise you we're going to have -- you're going to have another opportunity to do that. I promise you, coming up in like two minutes or two questions."

Of course, it was neither 2 questions nor two minutes before they got back to Dr. Paul.

I was livid.

LIVID, I tell you.

It was the most blatant case of censoring somebody that I've ever seen on national tv. It seems they were scared to let the man talk. Of course, when he did talk, he owned the floor and got quite a bit of applause. I particularly liked when he called Romney and McCain "silly" for arguing like old women over technicalities with an issue they both agreed on.

I've repeatedly tried to e-mail a complaint to CNN, but strangely, my e-mail keeps sending it back saying it's "undeliverable". Evidently CNN doesn't care for negative opinions of their debates.

Uhg.

CNN, you suck.

Help Some Wolves...C'mon, Pretty Please?

First of all, I know you guys are all big softies. And I know all you lovely people will be appalled at this. *Warning* Video is very disturbing.

This sickens me. These people can't even hunt these animals normally. They run them down in planes, until they are too exhausted to run anymore, and then they get out and shoot them. Sometimes, they just shoot them from the air, often not even killing them outright, and then leave them there to die a long, slow death. Why? Because they believe that the wolves are killing "their" animals, i.e. deer, elk.

They think they have more of a right to go out and hunt animals with their guns, for sport, then the wolves do to hunt and feed their families.

Fact of the matter is, wolves take out the weak, sick animals, improving the health of the overall species, and insuring plenty of future population growth. It's only humans who go out and hunt the biggest, healthiest animals, to the detriment of the herd. Then they want to bitch and moan about how the wolves are killing so many of them that there aren't any left for them to hunt, when it is they themselves taking out the best of the gene pool, that is causing the decline.

Did I mention wolves are on the endangered species list?

You can thank good ol' George W. for this.

It makes me so mad I could just explode.

Anyway, if you want to help out, go here.

You don't have to donate any money. Just take 5 minutes of your day to sign a petition to help stop this shit.

Go on.
You know you want to.

The Obligatory 100 Things Post.

1. I have an insane fear of large cockroaches. I will go into hysterics . I nearly brained my ex once when he was dumb enough to get in my escape path. I ran him the fuck over and he had a black eye the next day.
2. I love reptiles. Currently I have 2 snakes and 2 lizards.
3. I worked at Petco for 3 years. If you have an animal or pet related question, I'm your gal.
4. I love playing Guitar Hero.
5. I have 4 tattoos.
6. I cried like a bitch when the Croc Hunter died.
7. I have abnormally long toes.
8. I am the world's worst procrastinator.
9. Both of my parents died before I was 16.
10. I LOVE to read. I will read all day and all night, if given the chance.
11. I want to buy a Scottish Claymore. And then scare the hell out of a burglar by running at him with my face painted while screaming "FREEDOM!!!".
12. I have not yet seen a movie adaptation of a book that I am satisfied with. Lord of the Rings came close, but no cigar.
13. I'm addicted to Animal Planet.
14. I am a pretty good artist.
15. I am not really that fond of cats, even though I have 2. I am just a sucker for orphans.
16. When I was little, I lived in Hawaii. My house was across the street from the ocean, and surrounded on three sides by forest.
17. My dad was the president of a biker gang/truck driver/bull rider in the rodeo.
18. I absolutely refuse to sing in front of ANYONE, at ALL, unless I am sloshed. Then I will sing country music for hours.
19. I am unable to drive a stick shift.
20. I love Kevin Smith.
21. My favorite movie is Dragonheart.
22. I have never been in a fistfight. I have come close, but no actually punching occurred.
23. I had a secret crush on one of my co-workers the whole time I was pregnant.
24. I absolutely hate that movie Donnie Darko.
25. I also despise Rap and R&B.
26. I have only been to five concerts.
27. I kinda play guitar.
28. I am god awful at math.
29. One day, I want to visit Ireland.
30. I hate it when people pull the race card when there is no racism involved. Hate, hate, hate it.
31. I cannot take a decent photograph to save my life.
32. I love the show Family Guy.
33. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor.
34. Sometimes I get so bored that I go into chat rooms and pick fights with radicals and zealots.
35. I want an Alaskan Klee Kai. Seriously, Google them. They are so cute I want to scoop my eyes out with a spoon.
36. I am not a religious person.
37. I hate soap operas. Always have.
38. My favorite comedians are Dane Cook, Eddie Izzard, and Robert Williams.
39. I love peanut butter, but not too big on chocolate.
40. I was reading at a college level in fifth grade, but other than that I'm not really abnormally intelligent.
41. I am analytical. VERY analytical.
42. ...the meaning of life? (Kudos if you get it.)
43. When I was little I used to run around pretending to be various animals. I even tied a piece of rope to my belt loop as a "tail".
44. I have always been a bit of an introvert.
45. I always close my eyes the first time I ride a roller coaster.
46. I would like to go sky diving, but would probably chicken out at the last minute.
47. I love horror movies.
48. I hate the beach. The sand gets everywhere, the water is nasty, your hair gets gross from the saltwater...uck. Seriously hate the beach.
49. I can get a sunburn so bad that I can barely walk and still, I will peel and be pale again. This annoys me.
50. I love Kahlua Mudslides and Pina Coladas.
51. I smoke too much.
52. I am a very jealous person sometimes.
53. I hate Sprite, 7up and anything lemon or lime flavored.
54. I was addicted to Popsicles for the last month of my pregnancy. I ate about 20 a day.
55. I have a really hard time naming living creatures. My cats are named Tail and No Tail and I didn't settle on a name for our daughter until a week before her due date.
56. I used to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer religiously. My friend and I were so obsessed we would call each other during commercial breaks to talk about what was happening.
57. I love lists.
58. I have shot 2 guns, a 12 gauge shotgun and a .22 rifle. I am from Texas, after all.
59.I hit the snooze button WAY too many times. Or at least I did, back before I gave birth to a tiny little alarm clock.
60. I have gotten drunk enough to black out once or twice.
61. I don't really like spicy food.
62. I am a sucker for blue eyes.
63. I hate sleeping alone.
64. I do not know how to play poker.
65. I cannot cook for beans. I am learning, though.
66. I hate sports. Or anything remotely athletic.
67. Elevators kinda freak me out.
68. So do escalators. I am always scared it will grab my shoelaces and suck me in.
69. Porcelain dolls and clowns scare me.
70. I swear a lot. Probably too much.
71. I believe in ghosts.
72. I am still a little afraid of the dark.
73. After I saw The Ring for the first time I slept facing my TV for a week.
74. I have never skinny dipped, but I have had sex in a pool.
75. I think porn is kinda boring.
76. My favorite TV show when I was little was M*A*S*H*. I was a weird child.
77. There is one person on this earth that I really, truly HATE.
78. I have been to 5 US states.
79. I got made fun of for my name a lot when I was younger.
80. I am horrible with giving directions. I WILL get you lost.
81. I would rather be deaf than blind.
82. My favorite food is Italian or Chinese, depending on my mood.
83. My favorite Disney movie is The Lion King. I can recite it from memory.
84. I don't get embarrassed very easily.
85. I love country music.
86. I never played with barbies when I was little. I saw the Chucky movies, and that just kinda ruined it for me. Dolls freaked me out after that.
87. I have only been camping at the beach, never the woods.
88. I hate beer.
89. I never got into trouble in High School, but only because I wasn't dumb enough to get caught.
90. I went through a phase when I was about 17 or 18 where I was drunk or high almost every day. After a while I got bored with it and straightened up.
91. I don't really watch much TV.
92. I love kid movies.
93. Caring for a child is way harder than I thought it would be.
94. I have one half sister.
95. I love WalMart.
96. I never got into reality shows.
97. I STILL want to know what the hell was up with the polar bear on Lost.
98. This damn thing took forever.
99. I love my laptop. So much that I should probably name it.
100. Polar bears are cute.

A Peek Into My Crazy Brain

So, I've been slacking off from posting.

I'm trying. Wee One just takes much more time these days, as she's not a blob that just sleeps and eats anymore. I swear she learns new things every day just to keep me entertained. Today we had a hissing battle, since she's learned how to...um, hiss.

It went like this.

Wee One: Ssssssssssssssssssss.

Me:Sssssssssssss.

Wee one:SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Me: *hysterical laughter* Ssss-ssss-sssss.

Wee One:Ssssssssssssssssssssss.

Yes, that is how my days go. Pity me.

Anyway.

I have some very strange fears. As in, WHY the heck would a grown woman be afraid of that, you freak phobias. I firmly believe that they can be blamed upon watching every horror movie ever made at far too young an age. I've seen way too much weird stuff, evidently. You may think that I am an utter lunatic after this post, in fact. So, without further ado:

1. Sometimes, when I'm swimming in a pool by myself, I become suddenly sure that a little door is going to open in the deep end and let out a shark.

I'm not even kidding.

Never mind the fact that there are no chlorine water species of sharks. Never mind where the shark would come from. This has been known to make me panic and swim like a goon for the shallow end, leap out of the pool, and then nonchalantly try to pretend that nothing happened. Kind of like when your cat runs face first into a wall.

If you think that is funny, you should see me at the beach.

2. Sometimes, when I am alone in the house and walking down the hall, I get paranoid that SOMETHING is coming up behind me, really fast. This may be because of my two ghost experiences (A Ha! More madness! I shall post about my ghostly encounters at a later date.) or because I'm just damn crazy.

Whatever causes it, I tend to suddenly take off running for my room, slam the door behind me, and take a flying leap onto my bed, all while laughing fit to bust.

Did I mention I starting laughing like a madwoman when I get scared?

Yup.

3. I cannot have a mirror in my bedroom. It creeps me out in a big bad way. I am sure that I will sleepily turn over one night, open my eyes, and then see something or someone standing behind me in the damn thing.

Whereupon I will turn over screaming.

Whereupon there will be nothing there, and my craziness will be certified.

Or worse, something WILL be there, and my wee little brain will explode..

Either way, no mirrors in the bedroom for me.

4. I hate looking out of windows at night. I just know one night I will crack the blinds and a crazy axe murderer will be standing RIGHT THERE, and I will have a heart attack.

One would imagine it would be better to KNOW about the axe murderer, but not I. I think ignorance is bliss, as long as said murderer doesn't come bursting through the window.

5. Sometimes, I still get scared of the dark.

Does this really surprise any of you, at this point? Didn't think so.


Someone medicate me, please.

Lost Loves

My oh my, I've been dreaming up a storm lately. I swear I won't turn this into a dream blog.

Really.

Last night's was a kicker, though. It involved a guy I knew back in High School. We'll call him Mike. Mike was one of those guys you just can't help liking. Funny as hell, cute, gave great massages...and, alas, just a friend. I couldn't help falling for Mike, but I was forever assigned to the Friends category in his mind. I remember curling up with him in one of those big round chairs to watch movies and just sitting there, the whole time, not even paying attention to the movie. Just enjoying being curled up with him. I can still remember how his cologne smelled. It was your classic case of unrequited love, made slightly worse by being just buddies...and the fact that Mike was an incurable flirt, and so regularly got my hopes up, only to start dating some random chic. It wasn't done in a mean way, he never purposely led me on or anything...but it sucked, just the same. Eventually we grew apart and I moved on.

At any rate, I hadn't thought about Mike for a couple of years at least when, lo and behold, look who I run across on Myspace. Would he remember me? Yes indeed. We haven't sparked our friendship back up, but he is on my buddy list. And, evidently, in my subconscious. Last night I had the most bittersweet dream. We were back in high school, and I was mooning around after Mike, just like the old days. But, lo and behold, this time he LIKED ME BACK. We snuggled, we smooched, we...well, anyway, he liked me. THAT way. Do you remember what it felt like, back then, when the guy you were head over heels for actually returned the feelings? The giddiness, the butterflies, the floating on air? The sheer perfect happiness of the moment?

I didn't realize, until I woke up, looked around, and sighed a melancholy sigh, how much I missed that feeling. What I wouldn't give to feel that again. I MISS it. It's got to be one of the best, top ten feelings you'll ever have.

Anyone else remember that feeling, and long for it?

Also, I totally think I still have a thing for Mike.

*sigh*

Cloverfield Review, Since I Dreamed About It *Spoilers!*

If you haven't seen this yet, stop now. Spoilers are ahead.

************************************************************************************

OK, I just have to put my two cents in about this movie.

First of all, let me start out by saying that I liked it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it. I think I may have to watch it again, actually.

That said, I did have a couple of issues. First of all, for a creature that’s supposed to have come from the depths of the ocean, it didn’t look very aquatic to me.

I was also kinda disappointed with the “little parasite babies that make you die if they bite you” thing. I feel like that’s been done and was unnecessary. They didn’t look very aquatic either, for that matter.

Also, WTF was with the mysterious shifts in size the thing seemed to go through? It seemed way bigger when it was destroying the city than it did when it chomped poor Hud.

Speaking of when it ate Hud, how the fuck does a 5 story tall monster sneak the fuck up on you?? I mean, Jesus, you’re telling me you wouldn’t see the fucker looming there when he went back to go get the camera? He’s all, Oops, gotta get the cam *friends scream* *looks up* BAM. Ninja monster is standing there. It was all Jurassic Parking its ass all over the city but can be quiet as a fuckin’ mouse suddenly? Whatever. Although, I must admit it was quite the oh shit moment. The monster looked downright evil as hell, despite the inflatable ballsacks on the side of its head, and I was actually squirming in my seat, thinking, “OH fuck, run you bastard, oh god, RUN!”

Of course he didn’t.

They never do.

Another cliche, to me, was when they are watching from the chopper as the army shoots the hell out of it, and then of course they have to go MAKE SURE ITS DEAD, which as everyone knows is the #1 no-no of any monster movie. Just fuckin’ leave, fly away, do you really need to see if it's still twitching? Come on, people. Also, what the hell was with his Amazing Leap of Doom that brought down the chopper? Or did he smack it with his tail?

So far as the camera, it didn’t bother me, though I did find myself bobbling my head around in a vain attempt to see shit, and craning my neck to try to look around corners. I also found myself gesturing wildly with my hands in an attempt to make Hud turn the damn camera around, what was that that just went behind the BUILDING, I want to SEE. But I just take that as the movie doing a damn good job of drawing me into the story.

I also don’t mind not knowing the monster’s whole history, it makes it way more interesting to not know every last detail, although the morbidly curious part of me would like to know more. And I do hope for a sequel. But I’m lame that way.

So far as the look of the thing…pretty good, can’t complain, but it also looked a bit familiar. I guess there’s only so many ways you can do a monster. Still, I was just the teensiest bit disappointed.

I think the whole thing at the end where they say “It’s still alive” is quite the spine tingler. I mean, a monster that can survive a nuke? Good lord. Scary shit. I think there must be some sort of paranormal twist to this thing, what with all the bullets, bombs and whatnot it took, and it’s still wrecking shit? Nice.

Overall, I liked it.

Cloverfield, I Hate Thee

Actually, I haven't even seen the damn movie yet. But that didn't stop the monster from it from chasing me around in my nightmare last night. I can safely say I've never had a dream about a movie monster I've never even SEEN.

Big bastard, too.

Looked kinda like the swamp thing meets godzilla.

If I see the movie and the damn silly thing looks like it did in my dream, I'll shit. And then sue JJ Abrams, or whatever his name is, because he stole my intellectual property.

Or something.

Seriously though.

My Triumphant Return

It's been awhile, folks.

Quite a long while. I've been on hiatus from blogging for a few months now. I hardly dare imagine that any of my old readers will discover this new little blog I have. But the old one, well...it just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Not floating my boat, as they say.

I decided mommy blogging was just a little bit too limiting for me. I like to rant about random crap, and that crap doesn't always involve my kiddo, wonderful though she is. It also had quite a bit about my ex in there, and as I've since moved on to a different place (both mentally and physically) I didn't want to continue blogging with all that history hanging about the place. Maybe I'm just weird. Who knows.

At any rate, this here little corner of the blogosphere is my new home. Time will tell whether or not I'll post here regularly, or if I've just moved on from blogging entirely. I plan to find out. If anyone wants to read my little ramblings in the meantime, yay. If not, well, that's OK too. Although I must admit I am a comment whore, and having a good slew of comments goes a long way towards encouraging postings from me.

Onwards, friends!